译对“意思”

第三节　译对“意思”

商务活动以传递信息为主，各类数量词构成了重要内容之一。本章以数量词的正确译写为主，但并不是说数词写法规范就可完成汉译英的任务。本书的英文书名更能彰显这套教材的教学重点：correct information即基本信息必须正确。请看学生的翻译例句：

例36　假如每户每天节电1度，全市每年就能少烧煤1 635吨。

D1. If 1 kw/h electricity is saved per day, there will be a reduction of 1 635 ton of coal to be burned.

D2. If every household save 1 degree of electricity every day, the city’s consumption of coal can reduce 1 635 tons.

D3. 1 kw per hour electricity saved a day for a family is total of 1 635 tons of coal for the whole city.

C. Suppose every household saves 1 000w/h electric power everyday, the city would save 1 635 000kg coal.

译文D1最大的问题是漏译了“每户”。显然，“每天节约1度电”信息不完整，后半句的陈述难以成立。B1是D1的修改版，A1又是B1的修改版。

B1. If one kw/h (of electricity) is saved per day by each user, there will be a reduction in the burning of 1 635 tons of coal in the city.

在译文D2里，第一处黑体是专业术语问题（对于目标学生来说，会用英语说对“一度电”其实不应算作多么“专业”），第二处则是“语意”问题。显然，煤炭是不会自动reduce的。B2是D2的修改版。

B2. If every household saves 1 kw/h (of power) every day, the city’s consumption of coal can be reduced by 1 635 tons.

D3采用的句型令人耳目一新，只是英语句子以数字开头的，应当使用单词而不是数词，就是说句首的数字要拼写出来。当然，这个译文尚有其他问题，但根本性的还是“语意”不对。C的问题也是语意不够清楚、术语不够专业（clarity and accuracy）；B3和B4都是C的修改版。

B3. Suppose every household saves 1 kw/h electric power everyday, the city will be able to save 1 635 tons of coal.

B4. Suppose every household saves 1 kw/h of electric power every day, then 1 635 tons of coal will be saved for the whole city.

A1. If a kilowatt hour of power could be saved per day by every household, there will be a reduction of 1 635 tons of coal to be burnt in the entire city.

A2. If one kilowatt hour of power could be saved per household every day, the reduction of coal to be burnt in the city would be as much as 1 635 tons.

A3. …, the amount of coal to be saved in the entire city would be as much as 1 635 tons.

A4. If every household could reduce power use by a kilowatt hour a day, coal to be burnt in the entire city would amount to as much as 1 635 tons.

A5. About 1 635 tons of coal might be spared a day if every household in the city could cut (electric) power consumption by a kilowatt hour a day.

例37　我市地铁运营线路长45公里，日均客运量125万人次。

D1. The subway in our city has a 45-kilometer line operation and carries 1.25 million passengers everyday.

一个句子的汉译英结束后，必须确认“语意”是否正确。世界很大，可能会有这么一个城市，只运营着一条这么长的地铁，只是，迄今，中国，呃，貌似还没有，噎。

D2. The subway lines in operation in our city have a total length of 45km, and on average they transport 1.25 million passengers daily.

D3. The subway lines that have been operated in our city covers 45 km, and the average daily subway passenger volume reaches 1.25 million passengers.

C. The City has 45 kilometers of subway in operation with a daily passenger load of 1.25 million persons.

确认语意正确之后，应当观察自家译文的语法是否正确、词法是否正确。在这个例句的不同译文里，D2词语搭配（The lines have a total length, the lines transport passengers …）不对；在D3里，基本语法和词语搭配都不对（请见两处黑体部分）。

B. The subway in our city has 45 km of track in operation, and delivers about 1.25 million rides every day on average.

A1. The city operates about 45 km of subway lines, which handle /handling about 1.25 million passengers a day on average.

A2. There are about 45 kilometres of subway lines in operation, delivering an average of 1.25 million passengers every day.

下面再看三个例子。其中D类译文的共同点是语意不对，尽管有些数词是规范的。

例38　该公司的工厂位于天津宁河县城以北约20公里处。

D1. The company’s factory is locate in Tianjin Ninghe County with NATO 20 Kms.

D2. The factory of this firm locates 20 miles away on north of Ninghe city in Tianjin.

D3. The company’s factory is located about 20 kilometers from the north of Ninghe country, Tianjin.

D4. The mill of this corporation is located in the place of about 20 kilometers north to | Ning He county, Tianjing.

D5. The facotry of the company is located in the north of Ninghe County, Tianjin Municipality, about 20 kilometers away.

B. The factory of this company is located around 20 kilometers north of the Ninghe County, Tianjin City.

A. … north of Ninghe County, Tianjin.

例39　据今年上半年财报显示，中国电信净利润为123.4亿元。

D1. The financial statement of the first half of this year reveals that China Telecom achieves a net profit of 12.34 trillion.

D2. According to the balance sheet for the first half of year, net profit of China Communication is 12.34 billion yuan.

D3. According to the financial report in the first half of this year, the net profit of China Electrical Trust Company is 1.234 million yuan.

D4. The financial report of the first half of the year indicates that the net profit gained by China Telecommunications has reached RMB 12 340 000 000 Yuan.

D5. The financial report of the first two quarters of this year shows that the net profitof China Tele-Communication Co. Ltd, reaches RMB 12.34 billion yuan.

C1. According to the fiscal report of the first half in this year, China Telecom has a net profit of 12.34 billion yuan.

C2. According to the financial statement for the first half of this year, China Telecom’s net profit was 12.34 billion.

B1. According to financial report of the first half year, the net profit of China Telecom is 12.34 billion yuan.

B2. The net profit of China Telecom is 12.34 billion yuan according to the financial report of the first half of this year.

B3. In the Financial Statement for the first half of this year, China Telecom reports a net profit of 12.34 billion yuan.

A1. According to its Financial Statement for the first half of this year, the net profit of China Telecom is 12.34 billion yuan.

A2. China Telecom reported a net profit of RMB12.34 billion yuan in its Financial Statement for the first half of this year.

A3. China Telecom reported a net profit of RMB12.34 billion yuan, according to its financial statement for the first half of this year.

例40　今年我国轿车持续热销，国产汽车连续四个月销量超过一百万辆。

D1. The domestic car sales had enjoyed a four-month growth of one million cars in China’s car industry this year.

D2. This year Chinese saloon cars are in constant hot sale that have sold more than 1 000 000 for fourth consecutive month.

D3. The domestic car sales enjoyed a consecutive four-month growth of over one million units this year in China’s car industry.

D4. Cars continued to sell well in our country this year with successional sales volumes of over one million cars within four months.

D5. Cars in China sell like a hot cake this year, and it is the fourth consecutive month that the sales volume of domestic cars over one million.

D6. This year the cars made by China is selling well continuously. The sales volume of those cars has been over one millin for four months continued.

D7. The automobiles are still hot sales this year, and the monthly sales of the domestic autos are over one million yuan for four consecutive months.

C1. The car continues to sell well in our country this year and the sale number of homemade automobiles has suspassed 1 000 000 for four months in succession.

C2. Cars sell in China like a hot cake this year, and it is the fourth consecutive month that the sales volume of domestic cars over one million.

译文C2是D5的修改版，B是C2的修改版，A1又是B的修改版，仅供参考。

B. Cars sell in China like a hot cake this year, and it is the fourth consecutive month in which the sales volume of domestic cars is over one million.

A1. Cars continue to sell like a hot cake in China this year, and it is the fourth consecutive month in which the number of Made-in-China cars has been more than one million.

A2. This year, cars produced by Chinese auto makers still sell well in China, with the monthly sales exceeding one million for four consecutive months.