译对是基本要求

第一节　译对是基本要求

汉译英教学多采用开卷考试，平时作业经常提前一个多月布置，在公司里工作更是物质条件万事俱备，有足够的时间和多种便利条件查阅词典、上网搜索、询问别人。学校考试中，没有提交正确的译文就应该得低分。给出低分的理由或原因也很简单：在学校的考试，根本目的还是将来的工作。而在工作中，无论我们以什么身份（可能是专职翻译，更有可能不是）出现，只要是为上司和客户做翻译，那么起码应当译对，没有哪个雇主或客户会容忍错误；提供错误的译文的确还不如不译，即便是我们自己想说的一句简单的话。例如：

例1　我的手机能玩视频游戏，你的能么？

D1. I can play video game in my cellphone, can you?

D2. My cellphone can play video game, can yours?

D3. My phone can play video games, can your phone do?

D4. My phone can play video games, what about yours?

D5. My mobilephone can play video games, how about yours?

D6. My mobile phone can play visible games, could yours do that?

可以看出，译文D1和D2的译者会用英语的省略句型，只是未能如实转达汉语的省略句型，即“你的能么”的语意；译文D1按照原文的字面翻译成了can you，假如将省略的部分补充完整，则似乎应当是：

D1a. I can play video game in my cellphone, can you play video game in my cellphone?

假如将译文D2省略的部分补充完整，则似乎应当理解为：

D2a.　My cellphone can play video game, can your cellphone play video game?

如此一来，语意显然不对，而语意错了，整个汉译英工作也就失去了本来的意义。

除了D1以外的所有D类译文，似乎都没有注意到汉语原文“我的手机能玩游戏”，本来的语意是指“我能用我的手机玩游戏”。即应当采用人称主语，而不是沿袭原文的物称主语；也未能注意到译文沿用原文主语之后，在英语句子中发生的微妙变化。

C1. My phone can play video games. What about yours?

C2. My mobilephone can play video games. How about yours?

C3. My mobile phone can play games. Could yours do that?

C类译文依次分别是D4至D6的修改版。上述两类译文仅仅是一种稍有变化的字面对应，没有照顾到具体语意在变化了的句型中的关联，形成了典型的“见树不见林”的结果。从语意上讲，在除了D1以外的所有D类和C类译文里，英语的play只能作“播放”的意思解，并不是汉语原文的本意。

从语法上讲，所有D类和所有C类译文的惟一区别是：D类译文都是“溶合句（run on sentence）”，即第九章第三节要讲的重大而中国学生常见的语法错误之一。

B. My mobile phone can run video games, and how about yours?

A. I can play video games on my mobile phone. Can you do it on yours?

例2　广告客户须按中国《广告法》规定交验有关证件。

本句的设计考查重点本来是专有名词“中国《广告法》”，但看到学生提交的译文之后发现其他问题极大、极多，故此安排在本章里，试图说明即便是一个简单的句子，也可能发生本章开头所讲的“多种翻译问题”。先请速读五个译文：

D1. Advertisers in accordance with China “Advertising Law” provisions of the relevant inspection documents.

D2. The prmit and othr related documents must be provided by advertiser, according to the requiremnt in China’s “Advertising Low”.

D3. All accounts must provide related documents according to《The Advertisement Law of PRC》.

D4. Ad clients must accordance with the《Advertising Law》of china provide some of the relevant documents to inspect.

D5. The customer who wants to do Ads must deliver the related documents required by“Ads Law” of China.

D1疑似机器翻译，字词对应严密，但是不成句子，没有句号。D2拼写错误较多，真可谓泣不成声。这样的译文时有所见，其实质不是翻译问题。本书只在部分章节中保留了一些样本，用以相对均匀地提醒全书的主线之一——态度问题。

“客户”的确可以译作account，但在D3里，在没有相应的manager和management的语境里，这些accounts是谁的客户，向什么人provide 什么样的related documents都不清楚，属于“语意”问题，仍然是“不成句”。D4像D3一样使用了汉语书名号，且专有名词“中国《广告法》”的译文不对。D5在专有名词错误之外，“The customer who wants to do Ads”似乎是中文“想做广告的客户”的字面直译（即相当于机器翻译），属于难以得到社会承认的个体劳动，deliver也是空穴来风，没有说明原文“交验”的本意。

D6. Ad clients have to provide related certificates for check according to the Law of Advertisement.

D7. Advertisement clients shall submit the relevant documents for verification in accordance with the China Advertisement Law.

D8. The advertisement customers must submit all relevant certificates for our verification according to [the Advertisement Law] of PRC.

D9. Advertising customer must follow the Chinese Advertisements Law and provide relevant documents.

D10. Advertisers should show their pertinent certificate as China’s “Advertising Law”required.

D11. According to the Advertisement Law of the People’s Republic of China, advertising clients must present relevant certificates.

D12. Advertising clients must present relevant certificates | adhering to | the Advertisements Law of China.

这些译文都是“语意”错误，突破了翻译工作的底线，但在校园里大规模地存在着。若要译对这个句子，原文句中三处下划线部分都是关键词。译文D6至D12对第一个关键词都未能处理好。原文的“广告客户”不是“广告的客户”，也不是“广告的目标客户”，而是“通过中国广告代理，在中国媒体上做广告的国外客户”（请见后面C类译文之下的解释）。英语选择advertiser或advertisers一个单词就可以了，并不需要像D6至D10那样。我们举两个例子能够更好地说明这一点。“出口商”译成exporter足够，并不需要译作export merchant；“驾驶员”译成driver足够，并不需要译作driving member或其他。这两个例子常见，大家早已熟悉，所以大多不会译错，而“广告客户”比较少见，所以上述译文的译者选择了ad clients、advertising clients和advertisement clients之类。联系第一章第二节所讲，可以说是未能把阅读过的相关词语正确地用于自己的表达。

D13. According to Advertising Law Of China, the advertisers should be tested their certificates.

D14. Advertisement customers must verify their relevant certificates to adhere to the Law of Advertisement in China.

D15. A guanggaokehu, a legal person that designs and makes advertisements aimed at promoting the sales of products or providing service, ought to submit and verify the related documents according to the Advertising Law of the People’s Republic of China.

对第二处下划线部分，译文D6至D15大多没有译对。第一个问题是没有查阅资料，所用词语不是“《广告法》”的英文名称。这个问题的实质是：应当按照专有名词来处理（第六、七章）。第二个问题是没有采用英文的书名号形式，也就是斜体（本章第四节）。

此外，上述译文还有其他问题。限于篇幅，仅举几例：译文D10将“有关”译成了pertinent，属于字面直译但不合全句语意，末尾的required时态不对。按照译文D12和D14的理解，似乎adhering to the Advertisements Law of China是修饰certificates的，这属于“语意”失误。译文D13和D14也是基本语意失误；“广告客户”这样的普通词语，在英语里早有现成的对应词，所以说译文D15的做法不应受到鼓励，用心很好，只是南辕北辙，况且语意仍然不对。不是客户自行验证，而是由客户“交验”，即提交给媒体广告代理当面查验，然后还给客户。因此，利用英语的过去分词形式可以轻易解决，比如译成… to have their documents verified——这种表达方式是高中就多次学习过的（如to have my hair cut, to have my watch repaired），并不多么高深。而且，交验的“证件”并不是certificates之类。这些用词问题都可通过密切联系上下文和有针对性地查询词典来解决。

C1. Advertisers must | hand over their relative | certificates for examination in accordance with Advertising Law of China.

C2. The advertiser | must | offer related certificates according to the requirements of Advertising Law of China.

C3. Advertiser | ought to show related certificates for inspection according to China’s Advertising Law.

C4. All advertisers must | apply all appropriate identity-proving documents in accordance with the Advertising Law of the People’s Republic of China.

四个C类译文的“广告客户”和“中国《广告法》”这两个关键词都是正确的，只是黑体部分仍是目标学生容易出现的问题。比如说，C3给人的印象是：是否“交验”证件，法律并无规定，但是“审查”的内容和过程是按照中国的广告法进行的。B1是C3的修改版——仅仅移动了一下译文的语序，即可消除译文C3可能造成的误会。另外一种改法是：在inspection后面加个逗号。

除了上面提及的D类译文的主要问题之外，如果考虑本句原文的应用语境，则“须”字译作must不太好，译成should则语气不足，最好能够译成shall。在商务英语里，shall早因滥用（在该用must或should的地方，出于客气而改用shall）而变得含糊其辞，却很适合这个语境。

B1. According to China’s Advertising Law, advertisers shall show related credentials for inspection.

B2. The advertisers are required by the law-the Advertising Law of the People’s Republicof China-to provide relevant documents of certification for verification and examination.

两个B类译文的问题请见黑体部分。若要译好这个句子，有必要强调一下汉译英的本来目的：我方人士需要对国外客商说话；本书的例句取材于外贸和其他商务活动实际，在挑选素材之际便依此为第一考虑因素。就这一个例句而言，本书读者感到少许困惑是有道理的，因为没有上下文，但这些译者是知道的。退一步讲，在国际商务（广义的上下文）语境中，在操作要求上客户其实是无所谓国内还是国外来的（参看第十八章例15）。再退一步讲，即便课堂上没有听见背景简介，只要紧密联系汉译英的根本目的也可意识到：对国内的广告客户用不着把这句话译成英文。

A1. According to China’s advertising law, advertisers shall present the related documents of their clients when they buy ad spaces.

A2. According to China’s advertising law, advertisers shall present the business documents of their clients when they buy ad slots for making advertisements.

A3. According to China’s advertising law, advertisers shall show their business documents to the advertising agency for placing advertisements.

A4. According to theAdvertising Law of the People’s Republic of China, advertisers shall present copies of identification documents to the advertising agencies.

A5. TheAdvertising Law of the People’s Republic of Chinarequires that advertisers present their identification documents to the advertising agencies when paying for advertisements.

A6. All advertisers are required, as per theAdvertising Law of the People’s Republic ofChina, to show an advertising agency their business license and other identification documents before having an advertisement aired or released.

尽管前面的D类和C类共19个译文问题极多，如果逐一阅读六个A类译文，你会发现，该句本身并未超越目标读者的“应知应会”水平——句型和词语都是学过的。

译文A1至A3对第二个关键词采用了小写，转达了原文语意，避免了专有名称出错的可能性，应当看作是考试时或其他无法查阅资料的场合尽可使用的应急方法。

请你注意：译文A1和A2的“语意”与后面四个译文并不一致，却是原文可能的理解之一——这不是本书精益求精，而是汉语本身的表达的确可以如此奇妙。

在其他方面，六个A类译文特意采用了不同的表述，只有仔细学习才能学会，只要仔细学习便可学会。下面再看一个例句及其15个译文，只是不再逐个解释。

例3　我公司注册资金789万美元，法人代表张本山。

D1. My company’s registered capital is $78 900 000 000 and Zhang Benshan is the legal representative.

D2. The registered capital of our company is 78.9 million US dollars，and the legal represent is Benshan Zhang.

D3. Our company’s legal representative is BenShan Zhang, and its registered capital is$789.

D4. Our company has a registered fund of $ 7 890 000, Zhang Benshan is our Corporate Representative.

D5. The registered capital of our company is 7.89 million USD. The company’s juristic person is Mr. Zhang Benshan.

C1. My company’s registered capital is $7.89 million, and legal person is Zhang Benshan.

C2. Zhang Benshan is the legal representative of our company, which has 7.89milliondollars as registered capital.

C3. The registered capital of our company is 7.89 million US dollars and the legal representative is Zhang Benshan.

译文A1至A3分别是D3至D5的修改版。D4的问题称为“溶合句”（请见第九章例17项下解释）。A4至A6则分别是C1至C3的修改版。

A1. Our company’s legal representative is Zhang Benshan, and its registered capital is US$7.89 million.

A2. Our company has a registered capital of US$7 890 000, with Zhang Benshan our corporate representative.

A3. The registered capital of our company is USD7.89 million. The company’s legal person is Mr. Zhang Benshan.

A4. My company’s registered capital is US$7.89 million, and the legal person is Mr. Zhang Benshan.

A5. Mr. Zhang Benshan is the legal representative of our company, which has USD7.89 million of registered capital.

A6. Our company is legally represented by Mr. Zhang Benshan, with USD7.89 million as his registered capital.

A7. The registered capital of our company is US$7.89 million and the legal representative is Mr. Zhang Benshan.

这个例句的译文修改较好地演示了本书的教学指导思想和编撰理念，在其他例句的修改中经常运用。这样的修改只不过是写对英语（遵循英语的语法基础）而已，却是网络时代利用现有资源做好汉译英的必备技能，也是工作后帮助公司或机构适当提高汉译英质量的超级秘笈，还是依据汉语资料编译写出较好的英语文本^[1]的终极绝招，均可构成目标学生在商务英语方面的核心竞争力。