亨利王子和福斯塔夫

PRINCE HENRY and POINS，in a back room，in a tavern.Enter FALSTAFF，GADSHILL，BARDOLPH，and PETO.

Poins.Welcome，Jack.Where hast thou been？

Falstaff.A plague of all cowards，I say，and a vengeance too！marry，and amen！Give me a cup of sack，boy.Ere I lead this life long，I'll sew nether stocks，and mend them，and foot them，too.A plague of all cowards！Give me a cup of sack，rogue.Is there no virtue extant？（He drinks，and then continues.）You rogue，here's lime in this sack，too；there is nothing but roguery to be found in villainous man: yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it.A villainous coward！Go thy ways，old Jack；die when thou wilt: if manhood，good manhood，be not forgot upon the face of the earth，then am I a shotten herring.There live not three good men unhanged，in England；and one of them is fat and grows old；a bad world，I say！I would I were a weaver；I could sing psalms，or anything.A plague of all cowards，I say still.

Prince Henry.How now，woolsack？What mutter you？

Fal.A king's son！If I do not beat thee out of thy kingdom with a dagger of lath，and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of wild geese，I'll never wear hair on my face more.You，Prince of Wales！

P.Henry.Why，you baseborn dog！What's the matter？

Fal.Are you not a coward？Answer me to that；and Poins there？

Poins.Ye fat braggart，an ye call me coward，I'll stab thee.

Fal.I call thee coward？I'll see thee gibbeted ere I call thee coward: but I would give a thousand pounds I could run as fast as thou canst.You are straight enough in the shoulders，you care not who sees your back: call you that backing of your friends？A plague upon such backing！Give me them that will face me.Give me a cup of sack.I am a rogue，if I have drunk to-day.

P.Henry.O villain！thy lips ate scarce wiped since thou drunkest last.

Fal.All's one for that.A plague of all cowards，still say 1.（He drinks.）

P.Henry.What's the matter？

Fal.What's the matter！There be four of us here have ta'en a thousand pounds this morning.

P.Henry.Where is it，Jack？where is it？

Fal.Where is it？Taken from us it is；a hundred upon poor four of us.

P.Henry.What！a hundred，man？

Fal.I am a rogue，if I were not at half-sword with a dozen of them two hours together.I have 'scaped by miracle.I am eight times thrust through the doublet；four，through the hose；my buckler cut through and through；my sword hacked like a handsaw；look here！（shows his sword.）I never dealt better since I was a man；all would not do.A plague of all cowards！Let them speak （pointing to GADSHILL，BARDOLPH，and PETO）；if they speak more or less than truth，they are villains and the sons of darkness.

P.Henry.Speak，sirs；how was it？

Gadshill.We four set upon some dozen—

Fal.Sixteen，at least，my lord.

Gad.And bound them.

Peta.No，no，they were not bound.

Fal.You rogue，they were bound，every man of them；or I am a Jew，Else—an Ebrew Jew.

Gad.As we were sharing，some six or seven fresh men set upon us—

Fal.And unbound the rest；and then come in the other.

P.Henry.What！fought ye with them all？

Fal.All？I know not what ye call all；but if I fought not with fifty of them，I am a bunch of radish: if there were not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack，then I am no two-legged creature.

P.Henry.Pray heaven，you have not murdered some of them.

Fal.Nay，that's past praying for；for I have peppered two of them；two I am sure I have paid；two rogues in buckram suits.I tell thee what，Hal，if I tell thee a lie，spit in my face，and call me a horse.Thou knowest my old ward；（he draws his sword and stands if about to fight）here I lay，and thus I bore my point.Four rogues in buckram let drive at me—

P.Henry.What！four？Thou saidst but two even now.

Fal.Four，Hal；I told thee four.

Poins.Ay，ay，he said four.

Fal.These four came all afront，and mainly thrust at me.I made no more ado，but took all their seven points in my target，thus.

P.Henry.Seven？Why，there were but four，even now.

Fal.In buckram？

Poins.Ay，four，in buckram suits.

Fal.Seven，by these hilts，or I am a villain else.

P.Henry.Prithee，let him alone；we shall have more anon.

Fal.Dost thou hear me，Hal？

P.Henry.Ay，and mark thee，too，Jack.

Fal.Do so，for it is worth the listening to.These nine in buckram，that I told thee of—

P.Henry.So，two more already.

Fal.Their points being broken，began to give me ground；but I followed me close，came in foot and hand；and，with a thought，seven of the eleven I paid.

P.Henry.O，monstrous！eleven buckram men grown out of two！

Fal.But three knaves，in Kendal green，came at my back，and let drive at me；for it was so dark，Hal，that thou couldst not see thy hand.

P.Henry.These lies are like the father of them；gross as a mountain，open，palpable.Why，thou clay-brained，nott-pated fool；thou greasy tallow keech—

Fal.What！Art thou mad！Art thou mad？Is not the truth the truth？

P.Henry.Why，how couldst thou know these men in Kendal green，when it was so dark thou couldst not see thy hand？Come，tell us your reason；what sayest thou to this？

Poins.Come，your reason，Jack，your reason.

Fal.What，upon compulsion？No，were I at the strap-pado，or all the racks in the world，I would not tell you on compulsion.Give you a reason on compulsion！If reasons were as plentiful as blackberries，I would give no man a reason on compulsion，I.

P.Henry.I'll be no longer guilty of this sin: this sanguine coward，this horseback breaker，this huge hill of flesh—

Fal.Away！you starveling，you eel skin，you dried neat's tongue，you stockfish！Oh forbreath to utter what is like thee！—you tailor's yard，you sheath，you bow case，you—

P.Henry.Well，breathe awhile，and then to it again；and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons，hear me speak but this.

Poins.Mark，Jack.

P.Henry.We two saw you four set on four；you bound them，and were masters of their wealth.Mark now，how a plain tale shall put you down.Then did we two set on you four，and with a word outfaced you from your prize，and have it；yea，and can show it you here in the house.—And，Falstaff，you carried yourself away as nimbly，with as quick dexterity，and roared for mercy，and still ran and roared，as ever I heard a calf.What a slave art thou，to hack thy sword as thou hast done，and then say it was in fight！What trick，what device，what starting hole，canst thou now find out to hide thee from this open and apparent shame？

Poins.Come，let's hear，Jack.What trick hast thou now？

Fal.Why，I knew ye as well as he that made ye.Why，bear ye，my masters: was it for me to kill the heir apparent？Should I turn upon the true prince？Why，thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules；but beware instinct；the lion will not touch the true prince；instinct is a great matter；I was a coward on instinct.I shall think the better of myself and thee during my life；I for a valiant lion，and thou for a true prince.But，lads，I am glad you have the money.Host-ess，clap to the doors.Watch to-night，pray to-morrow.Gallants，lads，boys，hearts of gold；all the titles of good-fellowship come to you！What！shall we be merry？Shall we have a play extempore？

P.Henry.Content；and the argument shall be thy running away.

Fal.Ah，no more of that，Hal，an thou lovest me！

（Shakespeare.—Henry Ⅳ，Part I，Act ii ，Scene iv）

译文　TRANSLATION

亨利王子和颇因斯在酒店后间。福斯塔夫、盖茨黑尔、巴道夫、培多上。

颇 因 斯：欢迎，杰克，你这是打哪儿来？

福斯塔夫：这群遭瘟的熊蛋包，都他妈不得好死。妈的，阿门！酒保，来杯烧刀子！趁还没老透，我宁愿去缝袜子、补袜子、上袜底。这群天杀的熊蛋包！喂，混账，快给我拿杯烧刀子来！哪儿还有好汉？（他喝了口酒，接着说）王八蛋，这酒里还掺上酸橙汁了！孬种就做不出好事来；不过一个怂包比掺了酸橙汁的酒还糟。没胆色的混混！去你的吧，老杰克！趁早死了算了。要是在这世上还有人记得豪情、英气，那我就是条臭青鱼！堂堂大英国，现如今就找不出三个没绞死的好人。其中一个还是胖子，上了年纪。唉，这真是个坏透了的世道！我倒宁愿是个织布的，唱唱赞美诗什么的。唉，这群遭瘟的熊蛋包！

亨利王子：怎么了，长毛的囊货？你唠叨什么呢？

福斯塔夫：哟，这不是国王的儿子嘛！我要是不能用一把木头刀片儿把你赶出国，不能把你那帮子鸟臣民赶得像野鹅似的七零八散，我脸上就不再长毛，我就是个娘们儿。哼，你，威尔士亲王！

亨利王子：哎，你这下流胚，你这是怎么了？

福斯塔夫：难道你不是熊蛋包？回答我呀！还有你，颇因斯？

颇 因 斯：大肥猪，你他妈敢说我熊，我捅了你。

福斯塔夫：我叫你熊蛋包？还没等我叫，你他妈就给人家绞死了。不过，要是能跑得像你那么快，我倒情愿出1000镑。你肩膀平，就不怕别人看你逃跑时的背影，对吗？你管这叫为朋友两肋插刀？见鬼去吧，你的“两肋插刀”！我真想看看那些被你两肋插刀的朋友。给我杯烧刀子。我今天要是喝过酒，我就是混蛋。

亨利王子：喂，混蛋，你嘴巴上的酒还没揩净呢。

福斯塔夫：无所谓。唉，这群遭瘟的熊蛋包！（饮酒）

亨利王子：到底怎么了？

福斯塔夫：怎么了！？我们四个今儿一早做了一票1000镑的买卖。

亨利王子：那钱呢，杰克，钱在哪儿呢？

福斯塔夫：钱在哪儿呢？早让人抢走了。足足有一百来号人打我们这人单势弱的四个人！

亨利王子：什么！你说足有一百来号人？

福斯塔夫：我一个人对阵他们十几个人，整整打了两个钟头。我要是说一句谎，我是王八蛋！我居然还能活着回来真是个奇迹。我上衣被刺破了八处，裤子被刺透了四处，盾牌全是窟窿，剑都砍锛了，像锯齿一样。看这！（展示他的剑）我长这么大没打过这样过瘾的仗。可是没用。天杀的熊蛋包！让他们说！（指着盖茨黑尔、巴道夫、培多）他们要是添油加醋或是掐头去尾，那他们就是混蛋，就是恶魔的儿子。

亨利王子：说说吧，诸位，怎么回事？

盖茨黑尔：我们四个跟差不多十二个人交手。

福斯塔夫：至少十六个，殿下。

盖茨黑尔：把他们绑了起来。

巴 道 夫：没有，没有，没给他们绑上。

福斯塔夫：你这个混账，明明把他们全绑上了。要是有一个没绑，我就是犹太人，一个地道的希伯来犹太人。

盖茨黑尔：我们正待大秤分金，又有六七个人向我们冲了过来——

福斯塔夫：给那些人松了绑，然后又来了些人。

亨利王子：怎么，你跟他们全都交上了手？

福斯塔夫：全都交上了手？我不知道你说的是什么意思。可是，要是我交过手的没有五十个，我就是一捆小萝卜；要是没有五十二三个人跟老杰克厮杀，我就不是人。

亨利王子：上帝保佑，你可别弄死几个啊！

福斯塔夫：唉，你的祈祷算是白搭了。有两个让我一顿臭揍，这两个我敢肯定一准儿报销了，两个穿麻布衣裳的恶棍。我告诉你，哈尔，我要是有半句谎话，你就啐我的脸，管我叫畜生。你晓得我招架的套路；（他拔出剑，摆出击剑的架势）我就这么站着，剑就这么挺着。那四个穿麻布衣裳的混蛋就冲着我招呼过来了——

亨利王子：怎么，四个？你刚才还说是两个。

福斯塔夫：四个，哈尔，我刚才就说是四个。

颇 因 斯：是，是，他刚才说的是四个。

福斯塔夫：那四个家伙一齐冲过来了，拿着剑朝我猛刺，我可不含糊，用盾牌一下子就把那七个人的剑挡过去了。

亨利王子：七个？刚才只有四个。

福斯塔夫：穿麻布衣裳的？

颇 因 斯：是啊，四个穿麻布衣裳的。

福斯塔夫：就是七个，我凭那些剑柄起誓，否则，我就是混账王八蛋。

亨利王子：随他去吧；一会儿还有的多呢。

福斯塔夫：你在听我说话吗，哈尔？

亨利王子：当然。声声入耳呢，杰克。

福斯塔夫：就该这样。的确值得一听。这九个穿麻布衣裳的，其中三个——

亨利王子：怎么样？已经又多了两个啦。

福斯塔夫：他们的剑都断了，开始往后退；我紧追不舍，一顿拳脚交加，转念间，十一个里我撂倒了七个。

亨利王子：乖乖！两个穿麻布衣裳的转眼间就变成了十一个。

福斯塔夫：而且还有三个穿肯德尔草绿装的小龟儿子从背后袭击我。哈尔，那是天太黑了，简直伸手不见五指。

亨利王子：谎话都是一样的，吹得山响，可一戳就破。哼，你这个一脑袋烂泥的混蛋，木头脑袋的傻瓜，油腻腻的饭桶！

福斯塔夫：怎么，你疯了？你疯了？把真话不当真话？

亨利王子：哼，你倒说说，要是天黑得伸手不见五指，你又是怎么看见那三个穿肯德尔草绿装的龟儿子的？来，说说你的道理，这回还有什么好说？

颇 因 斯：说说清楚吧，杰克。

福斯塔夫：怎么着，逼我？你就是把我吊起来，用尽世上所有的刑罚，也别想逼我告诉你。逼我说出理由！就算理由像黑莓一样多，我也不跟逼我的人讲道理！我是那种人吗？！

亨利王子：我都腻了。你这个爱吹牛皮的熊蛋包！压折了马背的大肉山——

福斯塔夫：滚！你这饿死鬼，你这鳝鱼皮，你这干牛舌头，你这咸鱼！啊，一口气还真说不尽你像什么呢！你这裁缝的码尺，你这弓袋，你这刀鞘。

亨利王子：好，那就喘口气，然后再骂。你说了这么多下贱的比喻之后，听我说说。

颇 因 斯：好好听着，杰克。

亨利王子：我们两个看着你们四个人拦住了四个客商，把他们绑了起来，抢走了他们的钱。现在听着，几句话就让你露馅。我们两个抽冷子打你们个措手不及，一句话没费，你们抢的东西就到了我们手里。现在那些东西就在这，可以给你们看。——而你呢，福斯塔夫，你逃起来那叫个快、那叫个灵便；叫起饶来那叫个惨！跑着、叫着，活像个小牛犊子！你这个贱胚子，自己把剑砍锛了，还说成是跟人打仗打的！现在你还能找出什么花招，什么手段，什么藏身的窟窿来掩盖你这众目睽睽下的公开的羞耻？

颇 因 斯：来，杰克，让我们听听，你还有什么花样？

福斯塔夫：嗐，我还不知道是你们吗？各位，你们听听是不是这个理儿：我能杀害当今太子吗？我能跟一个真正的王子动手吗？哈哈，我向赫克力斯一样英勇，但是得小心本能——就连狮子也不敢碰一个真正的王子；本能是了不起的东西，我的怯懦就是受本能的驱遣。我今后会一辈子高看你，高看我自己。我是一头勇敢的狮子，而你是真正的王子。不过，小伙子们，孩子们，你们有钱，我真高兴。老板娘，把门关好，今夜警醒着点，明天去祷告吧。好汉们，小伙子们，孩子们，心如赤金的弟兄们，你们配得上所有的好名头，来吧，我们一起乐一乐吧！我们要不要来场即兴的表演？

亨利王子：好啊。就演你怎么逃跑的吧。

福斯塔夫：哈尔，看在交情的份上，别哪壶不开提哪壶了。

（莎士比亚——《亨利四世》第一部，第二幕第四场）