主语要选准

第三节　主语要选准

汉语是一种“意合”语言，形式上的主谓之间并不一定能够直接转换为英语的主谓结构，前后分句的两个主语并不一定是一致的，这样的情况便是“不能直译”，译成英语时需要仔细分析，确定“真正的”主语，也就是可以充当英语译文、且能“统帅”全句的逻辑主语。例如：

例16　作为一个第一次来中国的旅游者，你对中国的感受怎么样？

D1. As the first tourist to China, what's your sense about China?

D2. What’s your opinion of China as the first tourist to China?

C1. What do you think about China as the first tourist to China?

C2. As a first tourist on your visit to China, what do you think about China?

译文D1有三个问题。首先是“语意”失误，未能注意到英语the first tourist to China究竟是什么意思，仅仅是在看到“第一次来中国的旅游者”就那么写下来了。二是“语法”错误，亦即本节主题：没有意识到译文的主语是what，而前面的介词短语的逻辑主语却是the first tourist，是一个“人”。三是“your sense”的汉语对应词的确是“你对……的感受”，但问题是英美国家的人在讲到这个意思的时候并不这么讲。译文D2的问题与D1的第一个问题相同。两个译文都是简单的“直译”，未能表达原文的基本意思。此外，D、C和B类译文均照搬原文，将“中国”译出了两次。A3可以是口语，比如说用于街头采访。

B. As a tourist who first came to China, how do you think of China?

A1. What do you think of China as a tourist who comes here for the first time?

A2. As a tourist on your first visit to China, would you leave us your comments?

A3. As a tourist on your first visit to China, certainly you have something to say?

例17　由于环境好，许多游客都到这里旅游，所以当地居民收入颇丰，群众生活也很富裕。

D1. Thanks to its favorable environment inviting many tourists, it enjoys good revenue which well feeds its people.

D2. Blessed with good environment, many tourists came here, which in turn brings smart revenues and makes the people much well-off.

D3. Due to its good environment, many tourists came to this place. As a result, it has enjoyed a abundant income and the living standard of its people has been high as well.

D1始终没有明确it是指什么，D2则有双重形式主语问题，D3借助于its一词，无论是指environment还是this place都比前两个好一些。在提交之前再读一遍有利于自行纠正。

C. Its favorable environment attracts many tourists. Consequently, its people enjoy a prosperous life with very high income.

B. People here enjoy prosperous life with sound incomes as a result of its good environment, which attracts many tourists.

A. The place /area /site attracts many tourists there for its agreeable environment, which has led to the considerably large revenue and therefore the easy life of its people /of the locals /of the people living there.

例18　参与北京奥运建设为我国民族企业通过奥运平台走向世界创造了难得的历史机遇。

B1. Participating in the construction of the Beijing Olympic Games has created rare opportunities for our national enterprises to go to the world by way of the Olympic platform.

B2. The Beijing Olympic Games offered a rare opportunity for national enterprises to launch themselves.

译文B1是特意请一位学生译的，要求她按照原文的句型直译。她完成得很好。译文B2是奥组委官方网站（Beijing takes on an international look as Olympics approaches, News > Olympic Dynamics > Headlines, Updated: 2007-11-21, Copyright The Beijing Organizing Committee for the Games of the XXIX Olympiad, BEIJING, November 21）上的版本，可以看出改变了切入角度，特征是用The Beijing Olympic Games 做译文的主语，简化了结构，译文简洁明了，清爽好懂。

A1. Many Chinese companies launched themselves onto the world market by taking opportunities the Beijing Olympic Games provided.

A2. Many Chinese companies had a rare exposure to the global market by taking some building contracts of the Beijing Olympic Games.

两个A类译文为笔者提供，可以看出采用了第三种角度，即请出Chinese companies作为主语；同时，注意到原文句中“参与奥运建设”与“通过奥运平台”语义相似，形成了复指关系，因而可以减词略写（请见第十五章）。这么做的好处是连同谓语 （launched themselves onto the world market 和had a rare exposure to the global market）构成了本句的语义重心，然后利用by taking …这样的典型的英语短语形式，将原文的主语部分改变为状语成分。

如此一来，译文有主有次，层次分明，更为重要的好处尚有三个：一是Chinese companies launched themselves（或had a rare exposure）说明了事实，而两个B类译文是某种静态描述，仅仅交待了背景。中国企业是否那么做了呢？看不出来。二是译文B1的participating in …，的确是翻译了“参与”，只是语意不够具体，正如pay attention to用于翻译“重视”一样，而A类译文调整了句型，化解了这个问题，还突出了语义重心。三是借助于A类译法，全句形成了段落的主题句，与后面的句子更为连贯协调。

从本节的主题来讲，这里最想提醒的一点是：落笔写下第一个英语单词之际，选择译文的主语构成了“技术含量”极高的再创造诀窍，表现为切入角度的比较和选择。

例19　你认为中国医疗保险系统是否应该包括中医药？

C.　Do you think the Chinese medical insurance system should cover Chinese traditional drugs?

A1. Should the Chinese medical insurance system, do you think, cover Traditional Chinese Medicine?

A2. Should herbal drugs and treatment in the traditional Chinese medicine be covered in the national medicare insurance?

A3. What do you think of the proposal that the herbal medicine and traditional treatment be covered in the national medicare insurance?

例20　我们在付款方式方面已做出让步，对贵公司已是非常有利了。

D1. We have made some concession on the mode of payment, that’s good for your company.

D2. We have aldy made concessions in payment method, that has been very beneficialto your company.

C1. We have already made a huge step-back on the method of payment, and it has already be very favorable for your company.

C2. It is advantage for your company that we have made concessions in payment method.

译文D1和D2都是“溶合句”，有关解释请见第九章例17项下。

A1. We have compromised in the method of paying, which is beneficial to your company.

A2. The concessions in payment we already made would be quite beneficial to your company.